Owning my stuff. Taking 100% responsibility for not only what I do (or don’t do) but for what I think. It’s something I’ve been working on for the past 18 months, especially in the “what I think” department.
Today, I received one serious test of my ability to own what I think. Today, I found out first hand what illusion is vs. reality. I received a hard dose of reality, up close and personal and to use the phrase “shattered my illusions” would just about cover what transpired. I ran, I didn’t walk from what shook me up and then I cried. You see my coach taught me that shattering illusions can hurt, a lot. He was right. He also taught me that we hang on to illusions because of the way they make us feel. He was right about that too.
Finally, he gave me the following advice that I want to pass on to any of you fellow “dreamers” out there. “Seeing things as they are is always the goal. No fuss, no muss. When we allow ourselves to see things as they are, we can let go of illusion and live in the world with truth.”
The truth? Don’t even get me started! I know it’s suppose to set you free but excuse me while I sweep up the remaining shards from my shattered illusions first. Heartache aside, I own it. I own the fact that I am a master story weaver, a dreamer and as I found out today, an expert illusionist. It would be easy to blame others. In fact, that’s where most folks like to go first but in the end, I’m the one who controls my life, in what I believe and what I choose not to, in how I respond to things and what things I simply let go of.
Here’s the deal, I’m still smarting but I’m also smart enough to know that a lot of what I’m feeling is my fault. Does it make getting past it any easier? No, quite honestly, I feel like a first class fool. But like those swept up shards, my feelings of being a fool will disappear eventually as well.
If you too are a master of illusion, take heed! The “trick” often ends up being on you and you alone.
After all, it’s a lonely business, my friend.
Just you…and a broom.