Heard the best concept at yoga this week. Not sure if I have the exact words since my memory and I have a "hit and miss" relationship at times but here's the basic idea, the idea that one might desire to be offended.
Sound weird? Maybe, but I loved this concept because at first-blush it seems to make no sense at all but take a moment to think about it and it totally does.
How many of us know a person who seems perpetually wizzed-off? Angry about this, outraged about that? Sickened, disgusted, fed-up, shocked, offended, "You must be kidding me!" "I'm protesting!" DONE! I'm thinking most of us but here's the deal. Well, the deal according to me, anyway.
You might think "who on earth would choose to live in that state of never-ending, self-imposed chaos?" But folks do. Drama is the driver for a lot of people these days. Those who thrive on it are in a never-ending search for the next thing, situation or person to be offended by. Even if you are not as extreme as the scenario I shared above, most of us have allowed ourselves to be offended, then dish out a heaping helping of righteous indignation a time or two.
Desire more peace in this space? First of all, kill off interactions with things that you know get you riled- up. The news is a great place to start. Second, keep interactions with people you seem to get ruffled by short and sweet. If you understand that someone is a trigger and you knowingly continue to engage them, who has the "problem" now? Lastly, what people say is coming out of a mind complete with a gigantic filter on it, a filter that "sees" everything through the lens of their entire life experience up to that very moment. In other words, nothing we say has anything to do with the other person and everything to do with our interpretation of them. Get me?
So chill out! Being offended is a waste of your time, effort and energy. Passionate about a subject? No need to get angry about it, you'll get more people to listen to you and what you care about if you come across as centered, grounded and knowledgeable vs. wound-up, self-righteous and lacking control.
One last thought. Next time you're offended, use it as a lesson to look inside and ask yourself why. Offense is beautiful way to find out more about YOU than THEM, if you choose to have an open mind.
C'mon Big Boy! Bring it! I got this.