I am in awe at times at the pace of my evolution. I swear to you there are times I look in the mirror and don’t even recognize myself. Anyone who has known me for even say, 5 years will attest to the fact that I have changed, a lot. Being in this almost constant state of flux, of change, I’m finding it very easy for those who have known me for any period of time to be holding me in an incarnation of the “Jennifer” they knew. It makes sense after all, right? I mean how often do those you know change so much that they almost no longer even possess a trace of who you thought you knew? Imagine being their family or close friend? Some may be all for the transformation, others just confused.
So call me Miss Understood. I’m the gal you thought you knew but don’t because I don’t even know who I’m growing into. What I do know is this. I like who I’m turning into. I do. I love living an open-hearted life and although I have been hurt deeply at times making the choices I have, I wouldn’t be on this journey if I didn’t endure what I have.
I feel very alone at times. Very isolated. Especially when I think of those around me. I don’t see huge changes in their personalities or beings like I feel has happened to me. I feel almost “freakish” at times, yet I know better than to buck the process. All along, no matter how dark times would get, I had faith. Faith that whatever changes were occurring were changes I was meant to endure. I know others have gone through evolutions and felt that they too, were Miss Understood, I just don’t know one of those souls personally.
So dear heart, if you are one of those souls, if you are evolving and changing at a breakneck pace and you are OK with who you are becoming, stay the course. You are not a freak, you are an amazing manifestation of a higher power that knows your destiny is for more. Believe that there is more love, more life, more feeling, more LIVING just waiting for you! Of this I know, with every fiber of my being.
The process may not be pretty, but the results? Breathtaking. ♥