The Struggle Ends Here

October 6, 2016


"Surrender comes when you no longer ask, "Why is this happening to me?"  Acceptance of the unacceptable is the greatest source of grace in this world. 


"Bring acceptance into your non-acceptance.  Bring surrender into your non-surrender.  Then see what happens."


"Sometimes surrender means giving up trying to understand and become comfortable not knowing." 


Eckhart Tolle


I ADORE the quote above and I adore it becuase I know it so well.  I know struggle, I know the question "Why is this happening to me?", I know what acceptance after years of struggle feels like, and finally, I know what deep, soul-touching surrender, the idea of acceptance and of being at peace with not having an answer, can bring to your life.


I've lived all those phases and more.  Surrender gets a really bad rap though, at least that's my take on it. Especially here in America where any "whiff of perceived whimpy" has people turning their collective noses up and running in the opposite direction.  


But surrender has nothing to do with being weak and everything to do with being strong. Very strong, in fact.  Think about it.  How hard is it for you to just accept things in your life that are making you very unhappy?  Things that are not turning out the way you had wished, hoped, planned or even worked for? 


For instance, someone you love becoming ill?  That promotion you wanted going to another person?  Your soulmate wanting to be "just friends?"  The list could go on and on.  So surrender IS about strength and courage.  If you still doubt me, try it and you'll see.


I once heard a line during a sermon that said we human beings have this incredible sense of wanting to know why everything happens.  That our brains crave order and if we cannot understand why something happened, we are put in a tailspin.  I believe that is true as well.  Think of someone dying unexpectedly.  Catostrophic weather that levels homes and takes lives.  A mentally ill person shooting at innocent people for no aparent reason and we ask, why?  Sometimes there is NO answer.  This is when the sermon said it was helpful to have an "I Don't Know File" in your mind.  A place that when you have no answer, you "file it away" and choose to keep good thoughts/prayers for the parties vs. wringing your hands and lamenting over it for days, weeks or more.  


Sometimes in life...there are no answers.  When you fight that "rule of law" you suffer, when you learn to file "not knowing" away, you surrender to what is, to the reality and you can move on.  This world needs no additional suffering heaped on it's collective pile of sorrows, trust me on that one.  


One final thought on this subject.  Surrender is not the condonement of something that took place.  Of course you are not OK with someone randomly taking lives, the love of your life not wanting to spend theirs with you or that job you really thought was the perfect fit, given to another, but it's what happened.  You have two choices, wallow in it, keep crying, keep asking why, keep suffering and suffering and suffering or make peace with what is, surreneder to the process, knowing that in the end, all will be well, and my dear, so will you.


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