"What is your life about anyway? Nothing but a struggle to be someone. Nothing but a running...from your own silence." - Rumi
I saw this quote a couple of nights ago when I was reading some poetry. I love beautiful poetry. If it makes me think, all the better. This one did just that.
On a slightly different subject I was at the salon today for shall we say an "extended period of time" and the receptionist couldn't get the music to work in the shop despite the fact that she tried at least a 1/2 dozen times.
Patron after patron commented on how it was "too quiet" and "weird" and I asked my stylist if she felt funny. She said "Yes, a little." I get it; we're so used to noise being everywhere we go these days. While eating out recently I noticed television sets in the actual restaurant, not just the bar area and thought that they were completely un-necessary but that's me and I already know, I'm quite different than most.
Call me silly but I thought we were supposed to engage with the people we set out to eat with. As if the phones were not enough of a "wedge-maker" between people, let's add in more distractions. It's like we are afraid to participate in even a few moments of silence.
Are we afraid that we might "hear" something? That being alone, I mean really alone with ourselves is just too scary of a prospect? And I'm not sitting here with the answers; I'm legitimately asking what are we afraid of? The truth?
Personally, I have found my quiet times to be both ones of grace and wisdom as well as ones of fear and confusion but either way, I have found them enlightening. What keeps you awake at night when it's quiet are the things you most need to address.
What are you thinking about? Who are you thinking about? Pushing the thoughts away won't last for long and there will be no pretending that the things don't exist, because the "things" will have their way with you in the end. Trust me. Either you'll address them in the staunch light of day or they will mess with you in the "wee hours" until you do. "Things", I've found, enjoy a good game of "Uncle." Give up and do something about this or they'll be back. What's haunting you, is daunting you.
In the end, silence is a beautiful thing, especially when you can sit in it and be at peace. Even better? Sit in it and actually take delight in it, it's only then, when you have made the conscious choice to toss those shoes aside, that you can finally stop running and once and for all, start living.