Fear. It’s one of the fundamentals when it comes to choosing where we operate from. The other is love. It’s been said that we only operate from a place of fear or love. As of yet, I’ve found that adage to be true. We look at the two “choices” (and I use quotes because most often the choices we operate out of are unconscious to many) typically as “good” and “bad.” Love, good. Fear, bad.
Fear gets a really gets a bad rap. I think it’s because it feels so awful when you are fearful. Most of the time you get yourself all worked-up so the feeling of fear has a lot of baggage attached to it. It’s heavy with bodily sensations, worry about the future etc. And although I certainly feel and experience fear, I have a slightly different relationship with it now than I used to.
Because I have been on this planet for over a ½ century now you can say that some things are pretty habitual in my life, including some of my reactions to what I perceive as fearful situations. I hear or experience something I deem as scary and my stomach drops, my heart pounds faster, I drop into a state of worry and rumination, I begin to talk to others about this new “burden” and on and on. Sound familiar?
Over the past few years, I have slowly learned new things about fear but it wasn’t until a couple of weeks ago that I had one serious “CLICK” when it came to fear. Fear, my friends, is not the enemy, not the “bad” to the “good” that is love…well, that is unless you choose it to be. Fear, simply stated, is a messenger.
Fear is there to alert you. To let you know something is off or wrong for you. Fear is there like a warning shot across the bow of a ship, it’s letting you know something about you and giving you options to shift into a place of love.
For instance, my daughter and son-in-law were flying back home from their European honeymoon last week and like just about any other mother, I began the day with some fear since winds were quite a factor in the Atlantic that day. Kick in the habitual response, a little nervousness, some rumination...BAM! Hello, fear!
Now, let’s take that same example where a little space is made so my awareness of fear being a messenger and its contents could have kicked in.
Fear shows up, then, I show up, literally. I become aware of my fear and ask what it’s trying to tell me, what’s the message, where can I find the love so I can free myself of some of this discomfort? This one would have been easy, I love my family, I want them back safely. No brainer.
So what else could aid in my looking to operate out of a space of love vs. fear? I went to a lovely online prayer group I’m a part of, many even know my daughter and son-in-law and I asked for their prayers of support. The response I received that day truly touched my heart and kept the fear much more “at bay” than if I would have just “gone it alone.” I also asked some of my closest friends to “keep a good thought” or send up some “good juju” and lo and behold, everything worked out just fine.
I realize looking back I also spent the day surrounded by people with whom I enjoy and who care about me, so thereto I was supported with love.
I challenge you, the next time you feel fear to look for the love. Look for why you are REALLY fearful. Chances are it’s because you love someone and isn’t that a beautiful thing? After you look at why you are fearful, find the love, then seek more of it externally, seek some healthy solace to help ease the fear. I’m not saying it’s going to completely go away, remember, these responses in us go WAY back but can you minimize fear by looking for the love and pursuing more of it?
To me, step one is internal and step two is external. I found the combination, unbeatable.
When I look back on the day the kids were flying home it’s amazing how much less burdened I became with each passing hour because I understood the message fear was sending me, acknowledged it, sought out some healthy external relief while at the same time, enjoyed some additional relief by way of lovely souls being put in my path the rest of the day.
Faith. Once again this is all about faith. Faith that you will be taken care of. Faith that the things that hurt the most are designed to open you up to more love, to give more and to get more, unless you allow fear to take over and shut you down, armor you up and wall you out.
Everything, everything is designed to ultimately walk us down a path of love. It’s what we were put on this planet for. All the things that keep us from it are our barriers to transcend. Fear is just another barrier. One you can stay a prisoner behind or one you can break through, elevating yourself while you naturally elevate others ‘cuz that much love, cannot or should not be contained.
To messengers of a different kind and to approaching life as if all of it is conspiring to see you victorious...because it is.