The Big Squeeze

July 12, 2018

Over the past month, I have found myself presented with more situations placing me between a rock and a hard place, than ever. 


Stuck in the middle of two equally difficult alternatives, having me call on higher powers, including my “highest self” for guidance and although ultimately I make a choice and wedge myself out, it seems I find myself wedged back in pretty doggone quick these days, and worse yet?  I can’t help but question my choices afterwards.


More often than not, my lovely inner compass makes me acutely aware of the direction I wish to head.  What needs to be said, or not said, done or not done…relatively straight-forward and quite honestly, providing me with a sense of peace, post-decision.  Like my coach says, I can “drop my shoulders.” 


In these recent situations, there’s less or even no sense of relief once “resolved.”  In fact the total opposite, I question what I chose to do because the options are so equally difficult and I can’t win with someone or something in whatever direction I go, it’s rough waters to navigate occasionally, much less once a week or so these days.


From dealings with clients to personal life matters, these situations are ones I struggle hard with.  I would love to hear what you do when faced with similar “rock and hard place” situations so feel free to share in the comments section below.  As for my part, I will share two things I have let be my guide recently and even then like I said above, I’m not at total peace with some of the “picks” I’ve made.  So for what it’s worth, here goes!


One, I plug empathy in.  I put myself in the shoes of the other person just to check out the view, the perspective from their location and see if that “tips the scales” or has any bearing on my decision, often, I find it does.  And second, I evoke the often maligned word “fairness.”  Most of us grew up hearing the phrase “Life is not fair” and yes, I get that because there are perceived “winners” and “losers” anytime you need to make a decision but even more so under this kind of pressure. 


When I evoke fairness, I am looking for what is in the best interest of both parties.  Like when I need to work with a client who has asked for something that in some way skirts or circumvents things I have in place to safeguard the business and myself, I ask myself “What’s fair here, for both of us?” 


Honestly, there are days that I just want to enjoy a childish moment and say that their very “ask” wasn’t fair but they had every right to present it and I find myself, once again, between the rocks, charged with the task of “maturing up.”


To date, I have resolved each “squeeze” in one way or another but the confidence that I made a proper decision still eludes me on many of these issues. 


Empathy and evoking fairness – next time you find yourself “tightly held” give it a try.  I can’t promise a nice big exhale and sense of ease “post-decision” but I can promise you the freedom that comes (even over time) simply by being released and the knowledge that you can live life facing what’s given to you courageously no matter where your heart and head ultimately land. 


“Adversity has the effect of eliciting talents, which, in prosperous circumstances, would have lain dormant.” - Horace 

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