Yesterday, my coach and I had a call and like many of us this time of year we began the call inquiring about one another's holiday experience. He shared his, then asked about mine and I told him it was very relaxed, very chill, no drama, I felt like I could be myself and I loved it.
Instead of wrapping that little exchange up there, he wanted to delve a little deeper, asking me what I did to get to this place, the place of enjoying such a lovely holiday season. I was a little taken aback as I had never thought about it but he was right, I DID do things, many things over the past five years, in particular, to live differently, both during the holidays and most days and in doing that work, I was rewarded with a rewarding 3 weeks.
What "being myself", a big piece of this looked like vs. not being myself is that this year, (after decades) there wasn't any people pleasing to "keep the peace", there wasn't any "contorting" to try to fit in, there was no "making nice" to people that are anything but...the list could go on and on and I KNOW many of you understand this but there was none of that this year with me.
I told my coach that I would be remiss if I didn't make mention of the fact that I was surrounded by accepting people. Family, friends...ones who could have (for instance) chastised me for choosing to eat a vegan diet, especially during the holidays, but they didn't, in fact, my family was the BOMB when Christmas Eve dinner was all vegan. They ate, they were beyond complimentary and guess what? The food was good. Imagine that?
Finally, a little thing dawned on me that isn't such a little thing and I don't know if this played a factor or not but I sure feel it did. I'm pretty "hands off" when it comes to (what I jokingly refer to as) my adult offspring. Especially since they graduated from college and moved out and on with their respective lives. I shifted the way I parent since my kids don't need THAT kind of parent anymore. I don't butt my nose into their business, I don't give my opinion if I am not asked, I, in short, treat them like adults, adults I love with all my heart but I interact with them like the independent, self-sufficient souls they are, knowing that any "falls" they experience are there to help them grow and I cannot, nor would I, shield them from what it is they are supposed to learn.
I also try to offer up a "safe space" for them to be who they are as I do my best to be non-judgmental. Hence the fact that I don't feel judged by them as well. They know mom is "a little out there" but they also know mom loves them deeply and that's what truly matters.
So it's funny, a little question, a little bit of "small talk" that we all tend to engage in, took me off in spaces and places I couldn't have imagined. Very cool.
Yes, I had a great holiday season! What a delightful manifestation of "the work" I've done to stay true to my "North Star" of living a most contented life. Sweet!
**Here's hoping you enjoyed a lovely holiday as well. My best wishes for the year ahead, thanks for being here!