On the Shore

January 18, 2020

This past week was so interesting. It's funny, although I have been on a self-awareness journey for 4 1/2 years now, I am still surprised at my response to things that come up these days.

 

Earlier this week I was pulled over by a police officer for speeding (this mindfulness educator was not very mindful at all that evening) and it's been a while since I was pulled over but I remember my heart racing, being upset, wanting to cry even but this time I didn't feel any of those things.

 

In fact, once I realized I had an officer behind me I looked at my speedometer and yes, I had been speeding so I thought, "Ok, this isn't the best way to end my day but I'll take my knocks, I WAS speeding", and then I thought about my car insurance going up and my husbands reaction but then I quickly came back to the fact that I was fine, this wasn't the end of the world and to simply take responsibility for my behavior.

 

Do you know it was the first time in my life I was given a warning and let go? I won't get into the funny story that transpired during that time I was pulled over but I had a TON of gratitude for the officer cutting me a break. I was amazed at how level-headed I stayed. It was great.

 

Later in the week, I was at a meeting where the opportunity to get involved in an event with people I enjoy came up. My part of it would be kicking off relatively soon and I have been working my tushie off the past 3 weeks. Combine that with what's become pretty typical for me, "January blahs" and it couldn't have been written on my face more plainly...I wasn't up to taking on a new commitment at this time. They were lovely, extending me "the grace of space" to see if as things settled down, I would have a change of heart but there was no way at that time I could have said "yes."

 

Finally, I had an encounter with a soul that left me feeling so BLAH after an interaction, I'm shifting the way I show up in that relationship.

 

What do all three of these things have in common?

 

That the observer in me, the consummate, curious observer in me has brought me to a place of authenticity that I couldn't have imagined just a few short years ago.

 

I know myself very well these days, I take responsibility for my behaviors and I will not "contort" myself to please others because when I do, trust me, I dishonor them too. I have come to a place where even if I entertained the idea of "Well, maybe just this time..." every fiber of my being is screaming "NO" until I cannot, not listen so these days, I never say "yes" when I mean "no."

 

If you are on a self-awareness journey you have probably had similar things happen depending on how long you've been practicing. And if you've not yet begun to "do the work" can I say that living a more peaceful, less reactionary life is worth every moment?

 

Oh and one of the funniest "side-effects" of me being less reactionary is people thinking I don't have feelings since I'm not freaking out I guess when other people would and I get they might not understand but I certainly have feelings about things, I just don't get overly caught-up in them as much these days.  

 

I love feeling so grounded, so content with who I am and what I bring to the table, liberated from what other people think and showing up authentically in my own life.

 

I would love to hear YOUR "awakenings" if you care to share in the comments below.

 

Being an observer "on the shore" instead of a reactionary soul feeling overwhelmed and tossed about by the whims of the world is a wonderful way to live.

 

Namaste'

 

Please reload

Featured Posts

This...Is Not Me

April 16, 2017

1/2
Please reload

Recent Posts

February 7, 2020

January 25, 2020

January 18, 2020

January 4, 2020

December 12, 2019

December 4, 2019

December 1, 2019

November 5, 2019

October 27, 2019

September 28, 2019

Please reload

Archive