One thing I teach often (because it fits with so many areas of life) is the fact that we stand at a metaphoric "fork in the road" again and again and again, every single day.
So many people can feel like life is dragging them around, that all the circumstances going on outside of them are the reason for their woes and they are but a "pawn" in the game of life.
I'm here to tell you that that's not the case and that in every case, you have choices - Yes! More than one typically! Choices in the way you think, feel and most importantly behave.
I have choices, you have choices and the one thing we also have is consequences to our choices. Now I think the word consequence gets a bad rap. Honestly, the word just means the result of our choices so consequences can go either way, "good" or "bad."
Taking a cue from Miss. Oprah Winfrey, here's what I know for sure...myself!
So I'm very much aware of the fork in the road, I don't make my choices blindly nor do I believe there aren't consequences for whatever "road" I choose to walk down. I know there are. But here's the thing, I will endure the dis-ease of other people disagreeing with my choices if I know it's what's best for everyone involved.
People may think my doing what THEY wish is what's best for everyone involved but that's not true. I have contorted myself, in some places and spaces for years and I do not think for a moment me "manipulating" or "contorting" myself is good for anyone. It's inauthentic and that's not how I choose to live these days.
When I did it in the past, I did it because I thought it was the proper thing to do, the older I get, the more I know myself, "contorting" for whatever reason, just doesn't fly any longer. In fact, I can say this with all conviction. My body will no longer allow me to betray myself. I get even a "whiff" of my needing to appease others and "No thank you." can't come out of my mouth fast enough.
Does this sound selfish to you? It's funny because all I want to do is live my best, most authentic life. I try to be a good person but know I will never please everyone, in fact, I guarantee you, I probably please a relatively small percentage of the myriad of souls I have been blessed to cross paths with.
And I'm OK with that.
Living with resentment, "acting" to please others while I displease myself (the only person who will be with me 'til the day I die) just doesn't work for me today.
It's funny how something many can perceive as selfish is really anything but. When you live out of a space of true authenticity, you are going to "break a few eggs", you will be disliked. But if you really want to live "resentment free" and just be yourself, you have to muster up the courage to do just that...be disliked.
To all the weary souls out there tired of tying themselves up in knots in an attempt to please others (good luck with that) and those of you steeped in resentment...there's a better way.
Begin to recognize all the "forks in the road" you are being set in front of and when you feel pulled to take the habitual road of putting others' needs ahead of yours...again, remember that "other road", that "fresh alternative" can lead you to a freedom and peace, you may have rarely known.
May you possess the courage to live without the fear of judgment from others so you truly do, live. 💚